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As the honest souls around me have been telling me how my age and un-athletic nature are slowly encroaching my mid-section lately – especially now that it’s beach season – I’ve been giving some serious thought on getting some of what I call the “classier” and “more matured” style of swimwear. (We have been through all types of swimwear before.)
“How does a classier, more matured looking swimsuit saves the mankind at the beaches from your beer belly and love handles?” One may ask.
In fact, it can’t. And I’ll most likely be shirtless anyway. But before I proceed, let’s dissect the phrase “classy swimwear”:
A man’s swimwear is classified as “classy” by Team MM when…
- It does not draw too much attention to the protruding parts (I meant the protruding fat stomach and love handles. STAY FOCUS)
- It does not make you look like you’re going to your swimming class in junior school,
- It does make you look somewhat resemble to the classy James Bond in Casino Royale, and
- It looks classic, stylish and premium (bonus point for distracting) and strictly no ed hardy or dragons on it.
Speedo technically violates rule #1 until #3 when put on a mere mortal like me. So it’s on its way out.
At this point, my gym bunny friends say: STOP RIGHT THERE AND HIT THE GYM ALREADY, MAX. Then you can wear anything you like. Even mankini.
And to that I say:
Wow mankini seems like a good idea It’s ok. I don’t have GQ-approved body but at least I have GQ-approved swimsuit. Sue me.
“So how does a classy and matured swimwear looks like anyway?” One may ask again.
Enter short swim shorts. And to classy swim shorts we have curated a gallery of inspirations above (which can double as your gym inspiration materials as well), including our picks of classy swimming shorts (with shoppable links) for your coming beach-cation.
While we’re at it: I really have a thing for swim shorts by Orlebar Brown. Very classy and of premium quality, and so are their price tags. That’s why the best time to buy them is during Sale. They have been the favourite of many menswear experts, e.g. Derek at PutThisOn. This thing should be good, and it should last. My next favourite is Saturdays NYC.
(Breaking news: Mr Porter’s sale just gone up to 80%)
Tip #1: Whether you’re a big or a scrawny guy, make sure the swimsuit is trim and slim, shorter than a normal board shorts but never too short.
Tip #2: Choose flat front with non-elastic waistband, because some elastic band tends to “squeeze” and show your fat.
So get clicky, pal. We actually have more recommendation here. Forget about the gym (or you shouldn’t if you’re thinking about mankini.)